The Online Dating Minefield.

Online dating is brutal.  But it seems to be the way everyone meets people these days.  You hear about the cutesy stories of couples who met on dating sites and then got married and live happily ever after.  I’m on a low income and I don’t have the money to go out socialising to meet guys in the traditional sense.  I also don’t have the money to spend on subscriptions for online dating sites, so I’m using a couple of free ones.  The problem with that is the free ones tend to attract the loonies and you have to sift through them.  Around Christmas time, one of the well known paid dating sites had a free trial going on, so I signed up and got talking to two guys who I went on dates with.  The second guy lasted one date, but I went on 4 dates with the first guy.  After the fourth date, I decided to call it quits.  He was lovely, but too nice for me.  He needs a nice girl who will heat his hot water bottle for him at night and curl up on his chest whilst he reads his book 20 minutes before bed.  I shit you not, that’s what he does every night.  And that’s absolutely fine, but it’s not for me.  I need someone with a bit of fire in his belly.  I want him to be passionate about life.  Lovely as that guy was, he didn’t have a passionate bone in his body.

So here I am, giving it another shot.  It’s been…about a week I think?  I’ve lost count of how many crazies I’ve had to sift through and I’m already getting bored with it.  I go through phases with online dating.  No money to go out and find someone, so I make an account.  A week later, I get fed up and disheartened so come offline for a while…then it all starts again!  I did get a laugh this week though.  I’d started messaging a guy who is an animal lover…great!  But is also a vegetarian.  And that’s fine.  My best friend is a vegetarian and her husband eats meat, so it’s possible that this could work.  Then he told me that when his meat loving friends come over for a takeaway, he makes them eat from paper plates using disposable cutlery because he will not have meat touching anything in his home.  And for that reason, he will not have a pet that eats meat either.  Well there goes that!  I have two cats who love meat.  Needless to say, I ended the conversation there.

For your entertainment, here’s some of the messages I’ve receieved over the past week…

Heya, thought you sounded really nice, also I loved cats myself, not had luck with pets tbh lol also you look great and I’d love to talk sometime

“Not had luck with pets”…erm, have you been killing them off or something?

Hi, would you be interested in something casual?

Erm.  Nope.

I really love your face and style.  Charmed.  I would like to learn more about you.  I love the expression of your face and the way your eyes are looking at the world.

…NEXT!!!

So another thing which normally becomes a stumbling block is my kinky side. i know its not ideal to bring up in a first message but from previous experience I’ve found its good to just be honest from the start. Im getting old now so shouldn’t be wasting much time. Hetroflexible is a term a lot of people are not familiar with or understand. Basically I’m straight and only date/kiss women but occasionally my kinky side makes me go with guys occasionally.  Could this be a bonus for you?

Each to their own and all, but…nope.

Hello how are you where about in (the town that I live in) are from you if you don’t mind me asking

Oh sure, I live on…hold on a second.  It’s a small town.  I’m not telling you that.

Dropping you a dime coz your looking fine 🙂

*It’s YOU’RE.

Hey you are gorgeous. Could I tempt you to shopping and cocktails sometime x

Not sure what to say about this one.  If you’re paying, then sure!  I need some new clothes.

And that’s just a selection!  I’m sure I’ll come offline again and hope that the crazies go away for a while.  Until next time!

With love, Darling Soul x

 

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16 thoughts on “The Online Dating Minefield.

  1. Oh dear… I am sorry but I did have a bit of a laugh! It really is a minefield… sorting the Fruit Loops from the Cheerios… I have to avoid travelling at a certain time of day because of a terrifyingly creepy bus driver and much to my horror, he was in my local library the other day. I very bravely hid in the Architecture section until he’d gone… 🙂 x

    Liked by 1 person

    • Chuckle away! I’ve had to in order to retain my sanity 😝 I like that though…”sorting the fruit loops from he cheerios”. The latest is a guy that is now butt hurt because I don’t reply instantly and he wants my number, but we’ve only been talking for 1.5 days and I’d rather get to know him a little more through the safety of the website before giving out my number. He’s not talking to me anymore so, oh well! Oh noooo, we all know a creepy guy somewhere! Mine is the IT guy in work. I’m glad you managed to escape the creepy bus driver!

      Liked by 1 person

      • Yes always safest to spend a little more time to get to know someone through other methods first-that man obviously wasn’t worth your time! It’ll probably happen when you least expect or look for it…just be careful what buses you use! 🙂 x

        Liked by 1 person

      • Yes, I am very wary of who I give my number to. I had to change my number after my ex husband and I split up because he kept contacting me, and I rather like the number that I have now as it’s so easy to remember! I just get so disheartened with it all. I’m increasingly aware that I’m about to hit 30 and I look at where some of my friends are and they’re married with kids, got homes of their own etc. But social media is good at that, making you feel down about your life choices. Never the less, life is a journey and we’re all travelling down our own paths. I’m sure that I should just stop looking and something will come along when I least expect it, but I also worry about ceasing the search in case that was my only chance. I’m probably just better off with my cats anyway 😜

        Liked by 1 person

      • Listen, you have plenty of time yet, I know you probably hear that all the time but really, you have. It easy to make comparisons too, but value your freedom too..you can watch what you want on tv, you are only answerable to your cats, you can sleep crossways in your bed…but just look, laugh and love will find you on your way 🙂 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

      • Oh I know you’re right. I certainly do enjoy a lot of my freedoms, especially as my ex husband was such a tyrant! I can do what I want, when I want. And that is a part of being single that I really enjoy! I do miss the company though. But sometimes I wonder if I’m ready for someone new…but then I’m not sure I will ever be ready!

        Liked by 1 person

      • Yes, it’s not fun when control is an issue so the sheer freedom must be enjoyable..but just give yourself a little time, someone told me once that they had to learn how to be by themselves before being ready for another relationship. And in the meantime, there’s always someone to talk to on here – that’s the benefit of different time zones 🙂 x

        Liked by 1 person

      • Totally agree with you there. The first thing I tried to do after my marriage collapsed was find someone else. I had never been single in all of my adult life before. It was scary, but I have evolved so much since it all happened almost 2 years ago now. Thanks Samantha 😊

        Liked by 1 person

  2. That vegetarian sounds like my son who’s also a libertarian so he’s going to have a hard time finding someone, but anything’s possible! For me, online dating was just something to pass the time until the time was right for my soulmate to find me again. It’s great that you know yourself and what you want. Have fun, take your time, and you’ll find a good fit. Or he’ll find you!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Haha…so nice to know I’m not the only one who reacts like this to messages. I finally deleted my account after I started replying and scolding guys for being rude and having poor spelling (your, you’re, etc…). I think small towns make it that much harder too. My sister married a guy she met on one of the free sites, but she lives in a bigger town with more good guys along with the creeps.
    And I’m with you. I’ll have to find someone who is good with my cats. Especially the one that thinks he’s my actual baby, not a cat :~)

    Liked by 1 person

    • So glad it’s not just me! Honestly, there are some serious creeps out there. I’ve come offline again now and to be honest, I think it’s for the last time. I live in hope that I meet someone in the real world at some point! I’m in no rush. I’m glad that your sister had a good experience though. And yes!! My cats are my babies. Whoever comes into my life next must love them as much as I do. One guy I went on a date with in the New Year thought it was absolutely disgusting that my cats sleep in the bed with me. Well that relationship was over before it began!

      Liked by 1 person

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